i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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