DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
