Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
