I want to stick my p in your. b.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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