How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
