dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
