oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my shit smells like andre
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Randomize
