the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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