normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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