I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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