finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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