Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
