Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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