He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
