ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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