You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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