Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
