we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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