Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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