Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
