the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
