How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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