Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
