so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
