thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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