are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
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I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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