my shit smells like andre
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
