My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize