I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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