If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
