There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
