dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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