You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
