Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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