Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
