and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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