the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
