She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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