everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
