My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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