i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
