I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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