did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
