Nicole vs. Life
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
