No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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