im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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