Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
