Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
