thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
