I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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