Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
