Nicole vs. Life
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
