i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
