i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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