Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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