So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
