Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
