Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
