maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
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