Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
