Dual....:-)
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
